


distant

by bosshuton



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Yukina pov hinted at because Ive been thinking about her feelings pre Roselia n all, also back at it again with the pseudo deep one word titles lmao, and Id love to elaborate on this one day, maybe when I can write Yukina LMAO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 03:24:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18023834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bosshuton/pseuds/bosshuton
Summary: for yukilisa week day 06 - distance





	distant

When did it begin?

 

When did they start going separate ways?

 

Did they walk the same one at some point to begin with?

 

Lisa loves playing the bass, loves when Yukina chimes in with her beautiful singing and when her father looks at them with so much pride and joy in his eyes. It makes her feel like she's the best bassist in the world – in this very moment – and one day they'll take the music world by storm. One day, they will perform with Yukina's father at a concert and it will be amazing and so much fun and music will always keep them connected.

 

She's a child, so she's naive but reality hits and it hits Yukina harder than it does Lisa. Music betrays them and tears them apart. Yukina more serious than ever to pursue it, Lisa isn't so sure anymore. She, too, feels the pain and remembering it makes the air in her room heavy. It's suffocating. The silence gets to her so she picks up her abandoned bass and strums.

 

The sound seems to echo in her room, while her lips curve into a sad smile.

 

"I wouldn't have been able to keep up", Lisa says to herself as if answering someone else's question. As if answering Yukina's question Lisa knows she wants to ask, but never does.

 

 _Why did you stop playing?_  

 

Does she not care about Lisa's reason? Was she afraid? Concerned? Felt like Lisa could be replaced anyways, so any bassist would do and Lisa would come to her performances and just watch and cheer from the front row? Obviously, Lisa does not know Yukina refuses to bring it up to not burden - guilt - her. It's sad but she respects Lisa's decision, so she will not ask let alone push and will carry the crushing weight on her own shoulders. If Lisa keeps following her steps too closely, Yukina will ruin her. For sure. And that Yukina cannot endure. So she grows cold and distant and a part of her hopes that it will push Lisa away but Lisa keeps coming back. Yukina knows she's hurting her but she's selfish to a degree and knows she cannot tell Lisa to just go. She cannot ask of her what would hurt them most. Without her the world would be colder.

 

None of that Lisa knows, she can only assume and be alone with her own thoughts. With her own interpretation of Yukina's actions and words, struggling every day to appear confident and happy and without much care in the world. Music magazines are replaced with fashion ones; her nails grow and are painted and her bass stands in the corner of Lisa's room that is hardly paid attention to. Sometimes she wants to pick it up, but she's aware Yukina would notice her playing and for some reason Lisa does not want that.

 

These are their own bad choices they know are not good on the long run. Despite it all, they dance this dance day in and out until one or maybe both grow tired.

 

Many dances later Lisa still tries to do anything but play bass again, becomes what some might call too carefree; going with the flow. However, she still is with Yukina. Just cannot leave her. As painful as it is at times, as much as she wants to be of better support and just hold her hand or embrace her when Yukina looks exhausted and tired and sad when they wish each other a good evening before going into the separate apartment complexes... there's this distance between them they created but cannot break.

 

They're opposites, magnets, sides of the same coin.

 

Lisa wants to explain and Yukina wants to apologize but they never do.

 

They're an odd pair to many, but neither Lisa nor Yukina pay that any mind. Well, maybe Lisa a little more so than Yukina, because she's too aware of how others see her and if she suddenly started acting differently than what she is now known for, maybe that'll be their last dance. It's all half-baked; her true self hidden behind make-up and a smile and nail art.

 

So, when did it stop?

 

Joining Roselia lets Lisa feel conflicted. Her motivation to join – to see Yukina smile – wasn't nearly as serious as the other's were. To Lisa herself it was, but to the rest? She could tell Ako supported it, Rinko respected it but Sayo and Yukina? "This is not a game, Imai-san. We aim for the top, nothing else. I'm not here to make friends", Sayo once told her during a brief moment of their own. "I know, I'm serious, you know?" Lisa's little laugh might have betrayed her words, but Sayo did not respond for the tone of Lisa's voice did not.

 

Being serious about something felt as if it's been forever. Lisa drifted from one day to another; content with watching Yukina from afar despite being directly by her side. They didn't walk next to another. Where Yukina went, Lisa followed. Always a few steps behind, never on the same level as her. Not good enough to be by her side; so Lisa will watch her back and watch Yukina keep on moving forward until she is completely out of her reach. That day might come tomorrow, it might be next month.

 

What she doesn't realize is it's her who takes steps backwards. Yukina came to a halt. She wants to push forward, wants to reach a new stage but she can't. Not until they part for good or move forward at the same pace. Together.

 

They're fools and deep down they know it. So, obviously, they embrace the chance Roselia gives them. After a few more bumps that now seem like nothing on this long road they've been walking ever since they were children, they can meet eye to eye. It's still rough and difficult to jump over a shadow here and there, but there's help now. They have three guides to help them, three band mates, three friends. A new found family, their bond growing stronger as they become stronger as people. Lisa and Yukina still struggle, but not on their own.

 

Their paths merge, become one. A road big enough for them to be next to each other on. Lisa never needed to catch up to Yukina; her spot always has been by her side.

 

When Lisa looks to her right, the lyrics Yukina currently works on greet her: _Safe and sound_

 

**As the days when we had no color nor shape get buried**  
**Regardless of what happens, this will become an irreplaceable bond.**

Her lips curve into a smile as she reflects and feels this bond already is irreplaceable. Never to be severed.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> heugh I dont know where this went exactly and I did end it abruptly I feel like but Im boo boo the fool who cannot really plan fics and just starts writing and then I dont know how to keep going lmao so before I ramble on and let this become a total mess, I decided to let it end at that point. Maybe one day I'll rewrite this or make a Yukina pov once I learn how to write her because I have many cents to give on her feelings regarding this whole thing and don't think that she's been ignorant and actually aware of her actions, it's just that Yukina doesn't know how to deal with feelings when someone so important to her is involved
> 
> uhhh anyways thank you so so much on the kudos and comments on my other fic I really didnt think it'd be liked because my writing is so simple and these ideas would surely be stronger in someone else's hands haha


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